swim:
joke 1: ROFL!!!!!!!!!! thats hilairious dude!!!!! Funny Rating: 10/10
joke 2: DITO!!!!!!!!!! Funny Rating: 10/10
joke 3: u really do smash all the other to peices with ur jokes Funny Rating: 10/10

your mama so poor, i seen her kicking a can, i said, wat u doin, she said, im moving house

scarecrow i made up the exact same jyo mamma joke
yo mamma so poor that when i saw her kicking a can and asked her wat she doing, she said im moving!

scarcrow:
joke 1: i made that up as well!!!!!! mysterious...... Funny Rating: 7/10
joke 2: you remain the leading joke god WICH IS WHY U MUST NOT DELETE UR ACCOUNT COS THEY WILL ALL BE DELETED AND U WILL BE FORGOTTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Funny Rating: 8/10

A mother is walking with her five year-old son through the zoo when they reach the elephant cage. The boy looks with amazement at the large beast and asks his mom, "What's that long thing hanging down from the elephant?"
His mother replies "That's his trunk".
The little boy goes, "I know that, the thing to the other side of the trunk."
The mom replies "Oh, that's his tail".
The boy goes, "I know that! No, what's that big thing hanging down in between the trunk and tail."
The mother, wanting to avoid this subject all together, just says "Oh, that's nothing" and whisks him off to the next exhibit.
Two weeks later he goes to the same zoo with his dad. They are at the elephant exhibit and he asks his dad "What's that long thing hanging down from the elephant?"
The dad replies, "That's his trunk.
"No, behind that!" says the kid.
"Oh, well that's his tail" replies the father.
"NO, in-between the trunk and the tail!" yells the kid.
His dad replies, "Son, that's the elephant's *****."
The kid, a bit puzzled, tells his dad, "But Mom said it was nothing."
His father replied, "Son, that's because your mom's been spoiled."

A blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute woolly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?"
The shepherd, always the gentleman replied, "Of course."
The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said, "352."
This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock."
The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.
When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?

swim:
joke 1: LOL!!!!! ur jokes are long.... but HILAIRIOUS Funny Rating: 10/10
joke 2: i can just see that happening Funny Rating: 9/10

sorry if i offend anyone u wanna no how michal jackson really died he stayed in the sun too long and his melted in!!! :D lol


get it all his plastic surgery

Maddiegirl: yes i get it and its a funny joke Funny Rating: 7/10

young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

two statues are naked standing in a park staring at each other for 20 years, an angel came down and let them walk and talk for 3o mins, shall we, said the man, oh yes, replied the woman, they rushed into a bush and it shook, 15 mins later they walk out laughing, you have 15 mins left, wanna do it again, said the man, ok, said the woman, this time i hold the pigeon and you bad on its head

the word bad shoulod be s h i t

Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."

Little Johnny came home from school one day and went by his mom's room. The door was open, so he looked in and saw his mom lying on the bed naked moaning and touching herself saying, "Ooh, I need a man! I need a man!"

The next day, Little Johnny got home from school and saw his mom lying on the bed naked with a naked guy on top of her. So Little Johnny ran to his room, stripped down naked, and started to touch himself, while moaning, "Ooh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks. She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions.

"Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?" said the teacher.

"Nope. I haven't," said the dumb jock. "Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages."

Three men have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, "61 days 61 days!"

The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks, "Why are you chanting 61 days?"

One of the three answer, "Because the box said 3-6- years!"

Yo' Mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

Mr. A:
all jokes: really good jokes from u yet again Mr. A Funny Rating

After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for orientation. They are all asked the same question, "When you're lying in your casket, and friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first guy immediately responds, "I would like to hear them say that I was one of the great doctors of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in the children of tomorrow." The last guy thinks for a moment, and then replies, "I guess I'd like to hear them say, 'Look, he's moving!'"

lol maddiegirl

here are some blonde jokes sorry if i offend anyone:A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"


hahahahaha lol

lol

thanx scarecrow ur jokes r awesome 2

thanks

Maddiegirl:
joke 1: heaven jokes are awesome Funny Rating: 8/10
joke 2: the best blonde joke yet Funny Rating: 9/10
joke 3: i can just see that happening... LOL Funny Rating: 8/10
joke 4: DAMN IT you've broken our Funny Rating machine!!!!!!!!!!

yea yea im awesome

A couple of blondes were driving through Louisiana when they came to a sign that told them they were almost to Natchitoches. They argued all the way there about how to pronounce the name of the town. Finally they stopped for lunch. After getting their food, one of the blondes said to the cashier, "Can you settle an argument for us? Very slowly, tell us where we are."

The cashier leaned over the counter and said:

"Buuurrrrrr-Gerrrrrr Kiiiinnnnnggg"

one day a blonde wanted to go on a shopping spree,but she didnt hav enuff $ so she decied to get the money by kidnapping a child she went to the park grabbed a boy and went behind a tree

and wrote a note that sed leave 10,000 under a tree or the boy gets it sighned a blonde she taped it to the boy and sent him to his mother the next day she looked by the tree and saw a bag she opened and there waz a pile of s h i t and 34 cents and the blonde sed ya i can get a pac of gum!!

maddiegirl:
joke 1:u've got awesome blonde jokes keep up the good work
joke 2:ROFL!!!!!!!!!! thats hilairious girl!!!!!
joke 3:she lives in a pigstye???
(still trying to fix Funny Rating machine)

ewww

but rubbish

a interviewer waz interviewing some people to work a wal-mart
there were 3 men and the interviewer only had 1 question:wat
is the fastest thing u can think of

interviewer:so wat is the fastest thing u can think of

person #1: well i wud say the blink of an eye

the interviewer agreed with this answer

interviewer:good answer well sed

so with that he turned to the 2nd man

interviewer: so son wat is the fastest thing u can think of

man #2: well the last answer waz good but i think the blink of an eye

the interviewer waz impressed this waz the best anwser so far

man #3: well i think the fastest thing is dihharea

interviewer: wat!!! y wud u think that explain

man #3: becuz wen i go to the bathroom before i can blink or turn on the light ive already s h i t my pants

man #3 is the new worker at ur local wal-mart

(warning this joke is a little preverted)
this girls boyfriend waz driving her home but she wanted to go to her friends house which waz totally out of the way
boyfriend: no way its to far
gf:ill take off all my clothes
of course the boyfriend agreed so she took off all her clothes not able to avert his eyes to the road he totaled the car into a tree
bf: hurry go get help im stuck!!
gf: but i dont hav any clothes on
bf:here i can take my shoe cover urself a find a gas station

so she takes the shoe covers herself and runs to the gas station
still covering herself she asks the man help me my bf is stuck
man: i think hes too far in!!

lol

get it her shoe is down under hes stuck lol gross

maddiegirl:
joke 1: thats swims joke
joke 2: LOL!!!!!! that is gross
(the Funny Rating machine is nearly repaired)

ooooooo oops sorry swim

ba ba ba ba ba ba ba!!!!!!!!!!!!! the Funny Rating machine is back under a new name "Funny-O-Meter"

jokes plz

need jokes now

a teacher feels in a box she sed she felt something that was yellow and long so some kids rased thir hands and one of thos kids was jimmy the teacher do not call on him so the 2 time she raeches in to the box she sed she feels something round and orange so jimmy rases his hand she still dose not call on him so he sed to the teacher as he reached into his pocket i feel something round and has a head the teacher sed jimmy that is gross he sed it is a penny but i like the way you are thinking !!!

oxo are making a stock for england and USA its called the laughing stock

dwebb: neat joke dude give us some more funny ones Funny-O-Meter: 8/10
Mr. A: honestly we can beat Germany in TWO world wars but we get the **** beaten out of us in football Funny-O-Meter: 8/10

thanks

im out of jokes

damn

im all out cant think of any more

damn

wat did the accountant to wen he had constapation, we worked it out with a pencil :P

LOL!!!!!!!!Funny-O-Meter: 7/10

herd it before

plz i need jokes now

Yo mama so fat, by the time her butt was in the room, her belly was out.
Yo mama so stupid, she asked for a refund on a jigsaw puzzle because it was broken.

gamer:
good yo mamma jokes keep it up Funny-O-Meter:8/10

thanks carnage.