Chuck Norris jokes

52 posts
Got any good ones? I wanna here em!

Chuck Norris can light a man on fire, underwater.
Most people can do that...
slasher
slasher
Level 14
354 Posts
not really
chuck norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
Chuck Norris doesn't swim, water just likes to be around him.



Chuck Norris attack sharks when he smells them bleed.
@polokid, you got that from Epic Rap Battles Of History. But I Don`t really care.

BUT CHUCK NORRIS DOES!!!!!!!!
jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim on land
you cant find chuck norris he finds you
Do you know Chuck Norris had a role in Star Wars....He was the force.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
chuck norris went to the virgin islands and they became the islands
chuck norris molestes children
Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice
Chuck Norris will not leave messages. He leaves warnings.
Nice!
chuck norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun


chuck norris clogs the toilet when he PEES.
Lol.
epic1
Dan
Dan
Level 27
1,984 Posts
Chuck Norris was meant to be on Mount Rushmore but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard
chuck norris doesn't flush toilets. He scares the sh.it out of it.

chuck norris wants a steak, cows volunteer. *Cows talking. its just easier that way*
LUV EM ALL!

Oh this morning, chuck norris gargled peanut butter instead of mouthwash!
CHUCK NORRIS!!!!
IS A NOT A PERSON!!!!!!!!
i dont like chuck he's a retard
Metropal
Metropal
ModLevel 32
5,891 Posts
Umm...there is a Chuck Norris, I believe.
I know, I meant he's not a human, he is a god in human form.
Originally posted by XxX EYE OF THE SNIPER XxXi dont like chuck he's a retard

You are a remtard.
xibit159
xibit159
Level 2
1 Posts
CHUCK NORRIS COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What you said.
Darkrage
Darkrage
Level 21
163 Posts
chuck norris is so tough there is no chin under his beard there is only another fist

kids check there closet for the boogyeman

the boogyeman checks his closet for chuck norris
LOL. First joke from family guy.
cringe
cringe
Level 6
1 Posts
Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.
Daredevil
Daredevil
Level 19
4 Posts
hahahah
Darkrage
Darkrage
Level 21
163 Posts
epic rap battle lyric
Indeed.
POMAHbl4
POMAHbl4
Level 25
22 Posts
1. Chuck Norris's tears treat a cancer. But it so is abrupt that never cries. In general.
2. Chuck Norris never sleeps. He waits.
Chuck Norris has legal proceedings now with channel NBC, asserting that "Law" and "Order" are its registered trade marks of the left and right feet.
3. Chuck Norris's basic exported product — a pain.
4. If you see Chuck Norris, he sees you. If you don't see Chuck Norris, probably, you needed to live all some seconds.
5. Chuck Norris has counted indefinitely. Twice.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't go shooting, because the word to "hunt" means failure possibility. Chuck Norris goes to kill.
7. Chuck Norris doesn't erase the clothes, it cleans it.
8. Chuck Norris on 1/8 — CHERROKY. An origin here at anything, it has gobbled up devil's the Indian.
9. On last page of the Guinness Book of Records in small print it is specified that all world records belong to Chuck Norris, and in the book those people who managed to come nearer as much as possible to them are simply listed.

he heks... just 9 of 112 facts about chuck norris))
Lol.
chloe
chloe
Level 9
16 Posts
if a zombie bites chuck Norris he doesn't turn into a zombie but a zombie turns in to chuck Norris
BEGONE, FOUL SPAMMER!!! *Holds up crucifix*
M.C.
M.C.
Level 17
32 Posts
Chuck Norris can whoop anybody's as.s
No, he can't.
Lost
Lost
Level 28
3,052 Posts
Originally posted by I don't care.Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice
Chuck Norris will not leave messages. He leaves warnings.
Didn't 'I Don't Care' used to be my name?
No, it was, "And I Care Why?"
Lost
Lost
Level 28
3,052 Posts
Oh yeah! The similarities confused me.
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I can't come up with a comment.
this is crazy
But here's my number.
Mostafox
Mostafox
ModLevel 20
1,978 Posts
So call me maybe.
It's hard to look right.
M.C.
M.C.
Level 17
32 Posts
Ya'll are idiots.
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