A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them got together after to chat
about the convention. One said to the other three, “People are always coming to us with their
guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems.”
Then one said, “Since we are all professionals, why don’t we take some time right now to hear
each other out?”
The other three agreed.
The first then confessed, “I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients.”
The second psychiatrist said, “I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients
out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want.”
The third followed with, “I’m involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them
The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, “I know I’m not supposed to, but no matter how hard I
try, I can’t keep a secret…”
3 women enter a spa. A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. A lady greets them and tells them all the features of the spa, including a magic mirror that grants you 1 wish if you tell it something purely true. The woman explains that, if you tell the mirror a lie, you'll be sucked into the mirror forever.
The Redhead walks over to the mirror and says, "I think... that i am the smartest one out of all of us." She is immediately poured down with money.
The Brunette walks over to the mirror and says, "I think i'm the prettiest one of us 3." She is immediately granted keys to a brand new Lamborghini.
The Blonde walks over to the mirror and says, "I think..." POOF! She is immediately sucked into the mirror.
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed. he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes to the bathroom. While he's there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck, he was whispering in my ear. He told me he was ****, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him their was some in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!
good but i m bussy tommrow funny jokes start
"i want to be a millionaire.
just like my dad...!"
"wow, your dad’s a
"no, but he always wanted
to be...." =p =d
Santa: Why Americans stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?
Banta: Coz people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes.
While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: R u ok?
Banta: Did u break anything?
Santa: No, there's nothing down here
And that was the story!