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My Hill

1,556 posts
Because. *Pats you on the head*
Metropal
Metropal
ModLevel 32
5,891 Posts
That's not a legitimate answer sir. When did you start watching Deathnote?
I watched it ages ago. Long before I left.
Metropal
Metropal
ModLevel 32
5,891 Posts
NOW YOU MENTIONED THIS?! Have you seen the movie?
NO. BECAUSE FUCK YOU.
Metropal
Metropal
ModLevel 32
5,891 Posts
Fuuuuuuuuck you. *Scratches your face.*
Well, this is an unfortunate thing
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you. *Bashes you off my head*
Metropal
Metropal
ModLevel 32
5,891 Posts
*Backflips off and pulls out my battle ax.* BRING IT!
Is it boss fight time? Can we actually do something?
*Pulls out
this and charges at you*
Metropal
Metropal
ModLevel 32
5,891 Posts
*Morphs into Ajani.*
IT'S ON!
*Morphs into Nicol Bolas*

Bring it, cat. I killed your freakin' brother.
Metropal
Metropal
ModLevel 32
5,891 Posts
*Runs at you on light feet and swings head of ax at your torso with a uppercut.*
*Flies off*

+3: Destroy target non-creature permanent.

You are destroyed, have fun in the graveyard.

Metropal
Metropal
ModLevel 32
5,891 Posts
*Sacrifices a creature and revives.*

-8: Gains a 100 life.

I shall never die.
That isn't a thing.

-7: Deal seven damage to you. You discard seven cards and sacrifice seven permanents.
Metropal
Metropal
ModLevel 32
5,891 Posts
It is a thing now. Well as of tomorrow.

*Throws out a Elspeth chibi and litters the field with white soldiers.*
*Goes all Boros on your arse and brings out an army of 100 1/1 red and white soldiers with haste*

*Plays Coat of Arms*

*Swings for 9900 damage*
Metropal
Metropal
ModLevel 32
5,891 Posts
Fuck. *Drowns in Boros men.*
Damn right.
Metropal
Metropal
ModLevel 32
5,891 Posts
ONLY LIKE THREE HOURS TILL MY PRE-RELEASE!!!!!
YEAoiwsngfriuwerognadfujgh.

*Realises I won't be going to any pre-release*

Shit.
Metropal
Metropal
ModLevel 32
5,891 Posts
You're gonna have to wait a week. ;(
Indeed.
And here I am. Giving 0 fucks about all of that
Are you still the Hill?
We morphed into a cosmic horror beyond comprehension some time back
Ah.

I'd catch up, but that would take time.
Quite. And you can't grasp the true nature of my attack
How about you work on my farm for a while?


No

You can't even grasp my true form. What makes you think you can control me?
YOU HAVE NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER. IT SAYS, "EXILE TARGET CREATURE" IT DOES NOT ASK FOR YOUR OPINION. IT'S NOT ABOUT CONTROL. IT IS LAW.
But I am not a creature. I am now permeating in forms and forces that cannot be recognized by any beings living or deceased. You cannot potentially attempt to exile me for what you can even experience in this realm of existence is akin to a single atom of a single organelle of a single cell of a person.

I am no mere target. I am life. I am death. I have extended beyond your typical understanding of even a deity.

As for "Law", the fundamental laws of universe are my plaything. You cannot hope to make me do anything via any sort of methods devised in this universe. Remember that whole faster than light neutrino thing? That was me deciding to play a tiny joke on the rest of the universe. Quantum mechanics have nothing on a being that knows both the position of momentum of every single object in the universe just by mere consideration of its existence.

tl;dr, best I can do is get you to exile this suddenly existent cute bunny that has maybe a single attoperecent of a single attopercent of a single attopercent of the average power that I ever even displayed in this universe.

Fine. You say you aren't a creature? Magic has an answer to that.


You are destroyed, have fun in the graveyard.
But at the same time. I AM A CREATURE.

Remember, the bunny? Yeah. There's that.

Fun fact: once you get to a high enough level, you're anything you want whenever you want.
If at the same time you are a creature, you are affected by Swords to Plowshares.
That's why I gave you the bunny. It still has FREAKIN LAZUR BEAM EYES!
Wha
The rabbit is essentially like an electron in the analogy I gave up there.

That rabbit is me somewhat. It also has the ability to take on a powered armor form akin to 40k Space Marines
Fuck it.



I was never trying to win.

Why does everyone think the cosmic horror is after something? Why can't he just be chill and stuff?
Umm.
I'm not a particularly evil cosmic horror. Just one that likes to flaunt factoids that explain that I am practically un-understandable.

Plus, you should know that I can also fly and thus block that if I really wanted to.
Psssh. So many spells to take care of flyers, it would be mean to use just one.
I love the ability to do anything I want. It just makes life that much more interesting to mess with the puny humans that try to make sense of the universe
Stop going all Lovecraft on my arse.
NEVER!

Dude, that's literally 99% of the talk at the cosmic horror conventions.

Then again, hearing just one word will result in countless universes being created and then destroyed and and will result in your mind being filled with total knowledge of the entire megaverse

Also, the chips and dip at those conventions are pretty rad.
I should probably go to one of those at some point. They sound fun.
They are fun. Like I said, it's literally all about the chips and dip
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